Live well and go fearlessly, advises Dr Charmaine Saunders

What lies beyond? That's the $64,000 question isn't it? No one has ever come back from beyond to give a full report on what we may expect when our time on Earth is through.

The Meaning of Death

Death has been called such things as "the final mystery", "the last frontier", "the great adventure".

Are these euphemisms or reasonable assumptions about the end of life? The answer really depends on your personal beliefs. If you're religious in the traditional Christian sense, there is no mystery. You live, die and go to Heaven or Hell, depending on your behaviour here on Earth. The rest of us see the afterlife in a less precise way. A friend of mine recently told me that he would love it if he could believe in some sort of afterlife but he just can't. Religious people say it's a matter of faith. You just have it or you don't. There's no proof either way.

For what it's worth, this is what I think - the soul is eternal and dying simply returns us to where we originally came from, which is not a place but a state of being, the "light" or "home". Debbie Ford, American author and expert on personal transformation and human potential, sums this up beautifully in her new book, "Why Good People Do Bad Things":

"We are spiritual beings whether we want to admit it or not, and inherent in our DNA is a design to return us home - home to our true essence, our greatest self, our limitless self."

Jonathan Cainer, the astrologer, says, "You are a cosmic being with a direct connection to the eternal and the infinite".

There's no way to explain this belief in rational terms. My life experience and study over many years leads me to that understanding. I grew up in a strict Catholic family, went to two convent schools over the 12 years of my education and was deeply religious as a child. As a result, I never feared death, seeing it as a natural conclusion to life. When one of the old nuns died, the whole student body would troop past the open coffin to view the sweetly smiling corpse. Naturally death was thus portrayed as something beautiful. Then, when I was 23, my mother died. Suddenly, death was no longer an abstract idea but a grim reality. I went into denial for six years, but finally had to deal with my bereavement, which changed my mind and feelings about death. I saw death everywhere, deeply felt my own mortality and developed a nihilistic attitude, as in, "What's the point of anything if we're all going to die anyway?"

This only changed when I began my spiritual quest in 1986. I began reading New Age leaders, exploring Buddhist beliefs, practised meditation, worked with affirmations and visualisations - the whole nine yards. Now, I'm right back to no longer fearing death, but these days it's not based on blind faith or religious zeal, but rather on a more intuitive, spiritual sense of what is. I have no rational explanation, but when you feel something in your heart and soul, no explanation is necessary.

Near-Death Experiences There can be no finite definition for the word or the concept of "death". The closest glimpse we've been afforded is from near-death experiences that some people have had. They "die" and then come back, apparently by choice. The common experience is entering a white light like a tunnel ahead; also sensing a clear choice about moving forward or returning to life. Another common thread is the profound change that accompanies this return. It would seem likely that people would only choose to return if they had a compelling reason - loved ones, unfinished business, something to change. It doesn't seem feasible that they would come back and just get on with life as usual. In fact, where these stories have been documented, those who've had near-death experiences have made profound changes after their return, as in the case of Denise Linn, the well known dream expert. A physical scientist before she "died", she became interested in metaphysics afterwards and changed her whole career path.

These experiences would seem to be evidence of an existence beyond the physical plane.

Reincarnation

What about reincarnation? Buddhists believe that we live many lifetimes and come back in various incarnations, according to whatever karma we have gained in previous ones. For many years, I felt drawn to this philosophy, but refused to accept it because I felt it was too easy an explanation for all the injustices, inequalities and ills of the world - why some people and animals have cruel, terrible existences and others seem to lead charmed lives, like my cat! I wouldn't embrace the comfort it offered. However, being a Libran who needs to be fair at all times and also needs to intellectualise for understanding, I set about studying reincarnation objectively. After many years, I now accept it. The best way it was explained to me is that our lifetimes are like attending school. We move up or stay back according to our performance at each level. It shouldn't be seen as reward and punishment or even cause and effect. It's really about lessons, growth and soul development.

The Bucket List

It's timely that I saw the film "The Bucket List" this week while writing this article, as it deals with precisely the subjects of life, death and beyond. The theme of the film is a list that covers a number of things that should be done before death, like a wish list. The two dying characters end up going on a supreme adventure but, of course, each one of us would make a different kind of list. It would seem better to compile one earlier in life so there's more time to complete the items. I made one years ago, but mine was almost all about places I wanted to visit and the things I would do there, like walk in the moonlight in Fiji, waltz in Vienna and swim in Hawaii. I think it's a great idea for everyone to do. It focuses goals and reminds us to get the most out of the brief stay we have here on the green planet.

The film is recommended. My favourite line from it is: "He died with his eyes closed and his heart open." Also, Morgan Freeman's character asks Jack Nicholson's character to answer two questions that sum up one's life: "Did you find joy in your life?" "Did you bring joy to others?"

All my adult life, I said that on my deathbed, I wanted to know that I'd made a contribution, left a legacy to the world I'd lived and worked in. However, after a beloved friend died a few years ago, I changed my mind on this - I decided instead I want to be able to say at the end of my life that I had a good time. Just that, nothing more. There's a wonderful saying, "Don't die with your music still inside you". Let it all out, in whatever way pleases you most.

Why Fear?

Why do so many people fear death then? It's really the fear of the unknown. Subsequently, we tend to live our lives as though death does not exist. Most people are very uncomfortable talking about it. Black humour about it is okay, but God forbid we should discuss it seriously. Actually, death is easy; living is harder. Death is not an ending, but perhaps the beginning of a new existence, nothing to be feared. I experienced it once during a past life therapy session. I felt myself lift out of my body, become weightless and then enter a whiteness - no tunnel or light as such, just a blinding whiteness. There I "floated" in perfect peace.

There's no way to prepare for death other than to live well. Death is far harder on the loved ones left behind than on the deceased. We're left with a terrible gap where the loved one was, a hole in our hearts where the pain has eaten through, and the gnawing doubts about where they've gone, the longing to have them back. The more open we can be about the whole idea of death, the less scary it is. When we're dying ourselves, let us go peacefully, not as Dylan Thomas would have us go, raging against "the dying of the light". When we are walking towards that last journey beside a loved one, let us help them to do the same. Let us not shirk or dissemble or resist. It is natural, after all.

What does the word "beyond" mean? To go further. There is no further to go than over the rainbow, across the universe and into the wide unknown. It can be viewed as exciting or terrifying. It's your choice.

This quote says it very simply and eloquently: "Death is not extinguishing the light; but putting out the lamp because the dawn has come."

Isn't that beautiful?