Every sane person on this planet wants peace. Our world, always a fragile place, is even more vulnerable at present, making global peace seem an idealistic and distant dream. Each of us can contribute to this dream at the very least in our own community and, even more importantly, in our own lives.

We first need to identify what peace represents for us individually and then how to attain it. There are many types of peace. There's global, internal, community, individual, society, family, fanning out from the microcosm to the infinite. But what stops us feeling peaceful in the first place?

Stress for a Start

When we feel overly stressed, we are taken away from our centres, thus our peaceful selves. Every human being has stress, but the trick is not to live with too much of it. The two issues regarding stress management are the degree or amount we're dealing with and how we manage it. Stress is actually good, desirable even, but too much can cause us a lot of harm, mainly because it has an insidious quality. The harm sneaks up without us realising it and before we can redress the balance, we're already overloaded. The negative effects can take the form of damage in the areas of health, relationships, mental acumen, work performance, joy of life and yes, peaceful life.

Being overly busy is a major creator of stress, as is lack of balance and poor lifestyle choices - for example, bad health prevents a peaceful life. How can there be peace for a person who lives with chronic pain, constant fatigue, insomnia and regular illness? Balance in all areas of life is vital. Excesses cause disharmony. To prevent this only requires basic commonsense, not deprivation and sacrifice as often thought. Sufficient sleep on a daily basis, a diet that is pleasurable and filled with essential food requirements, regular enjoyable exercise, fulfilling work, healthy relationships. Tall order? Not really. It's really the chicken/egg riddle isn't it? What comes first? Peace or a happy life? My answer is peace.

No Peace in Negativity

Negative thinking creates negative emotion which builds and feeds on itself and can then seem like ultimate truth and `reality.' Living in that kind of belief system is not conducive to peace because it is an uncomfortable existence usually filled with suspicion, dislike, cynicism, anger, conflict, aggression, anxiety and low self value. Negative thinking is learned and so can be unlearned. The way to do this is to practise the opposite, continually train ourselves away from negative thought towards the positive. Worry comes into this area too. It is very damaging to happiness, and actually cancels it out. It's debilitating, draining. There's no peace in that. Also acting self destructively which includes indecision, accepting limitations, impulsiveness, repeating of destructive cycles, fear, anger, anxiety, depression, bad choices - the list is endless.

Confict with others, especially close relationships, is one of the greatest stresses in everyday life and guaranteed to rob us of peace of mind. A cousin of mine told me recently that she isn't in a relationship because at her time of life (50s), peace is more important than romance. Is peace a commodity we value more as life goes on? I would say yes, because we are often too busy when younger, with too much to prove, too much to accomplish. Being still and quiet is deemed boring and a waste of time. The older versions of ourselves know that life is short, but can be prolonged with less stress and more calm.

Lack of Self Acceptance

I believe that self acceptance is the foundation of human happiness, the acceptance of the complete self, light and dark. Many of us might say we acknowledge our own faults, but do we really or is it merely lip service? It can be terrifying to face our own demons, to look into the darkest parts of ourselves and find love and forgiveness for our imperfections. To truly learn to do this is enormously liberating and uplifting, the aftermath of which, the gift of which, is peace. Peace is always the gift, the reward for any tiny bit of work we do to understand and better ourselves. Many fear this process, not comprehending its purpose or its benefit. Inner bliss emanates from the courage to look into every crevice of our psyches, every nook and corner. I often joke that as a counsellor, my job is to shine an industrial sized torch into these dark places, to expose the scuttling, frightening horrors which flee from the light and leave only emptiness in their wake. Yet it is not the emptiness of despair or loneliness. It isn't being left, but coming home. Peace is a kind of emptiness, the best kind. Within it is the absence of turmoil and chaos which are only present where there is conflict and confusion. Many things create confusion, but we mainly bring it on ourselves by lack of care, lack of thought, lack of honour. We lurch from one bad life decision to the next, never stopping to contemplate consequences or the possibililty of harm. Self acceptance ensures less judgement of others and more love of self.

Getting Greedy

When we forget who we are and start identifying too much with our material possessions, status, income, external trappings of wealth, we stray from our peaceful path. There's nothing wrong with working hard and accumulating nice things, but what tends to happen is that we get greedy, want more and more, grow ulcers, suffer insomnia, anxiety and marital conflicts, stop enjoying the journey and think only of arriving in terms of successes and accomplishments. To counteract this, we need to set reachable goals which we can enjoy achieving. Along the way, we should travel with joy, rest between challenges, set our priorities wisely. In that way, ambition is tempered by calm pleasure rather than acquisitive frenzy.

Peace Signs

How can you tell when a person is peaceful? There are actual physical signs such as quiet speech, slow movements, a calm presence and happy vibrations. Interactions with them will tend to be positive because they're comfortable with themselves and therefore more open to negotiation and resolution, real communication. They'll be less defensive, less prickly and less quarrelsome. If you yourself are one of these peaceful people, you should feel that life is more manageable and pleasant, relationships less challenging, your health and sleep better. Your heart will beat slower and you will often stop to smell the roses. There will be an absence of pressure.

Apart from avoiding the behaviours that take us away from peace, what else can we do to foster a peaceful life?

Meditation

This can take many forms. It doesn't have to be formalised or practised regularly. Anytime life feels too pressured, a time-out is called for. Even a few days out of your usual routine can be greatly refreshing. If this isn't possible, stop your world and get off for a few hours instead. This can take the form of staying at home and just relaxing, reading a book, listening to calming music, gardening, seeing a film, sitting and just looking at a tree or a flower. We Westerners are not very adept at doing nothing, but as mentioned before, "nothing" is precisely what peace is made up of - the vapour of sweet emptiness. Don't try to fill it - savour it instead.

To me, meditation is merely stopping, feeling the passing of time, letting it hang heavily in the air, listening to the tick of the clock. Deep breathing is also very beneficial. Time is the raw material of life and using it well certainly engenders peaceful thoughts and feelings.

I read recently online that the word "mantra" means "to free from the mind". So, if you repeat a mantra that means something to you, it soothes your mind as well as your senses and your physical body. A traditional religious prayer will work as well as a meditation chant or a simple affirmation that you write yourself. The very act of repetition is comforting.

Healing Nature

Nowhere is peace more tangibly evident than in places of nature - under a tree, on the ocean, the scent of a flower, the simplicity of a leaf, the beauty of a blue sky, the caress of the wind, the warm blessing of the sun, sparkling stars in a velvet sky, the mystical wonder of the moon. Let all these soothe your soul. I say this prayer every day:

"My brother the wind, clear all in me; Eternal, spiritual sun, strengthen me;
Wise trees, ground me; Lady moon, brighten me; Water, heal me."

And here are a few lines from a poem I wrote some years ago which sums up my point:

"In the sea, I can just be I have no name, I have no number I am weightless, ageless, free to just be me'

Spending time in nature is not an optional extra - it is essential to healthy life. Make time for a relationship with the living environment around you. On the night of a full moon, stand under the bright orb and ask for communion; turn your face to the sun for a moment and absorb the healing; let the wind clear you of all burdens, real and imaginary; step into the ocean and feel its embrace; drive out of the city and walk in the bush.

By these interactions, you will find your way to peace, within and without. No matter how chaotic life gets, how many struggles exist, what the external world is throwing up, an internal sanctuary is available 24/7, forever and always. That's what peace really is - a sense of "okayness" within. In the restless world we all now inhabit, peace is worth gold. It's far more elusive than gold. None of us can single-handedly effect world peace but we can certainly maintain our own equilibrium. To achieve this - breathe, smile, rest, relax, meditate, sit, do nothing, laugh, love, dance, love yourself, float, commune, communicate, relate, sleep, awake to each new day, trust. A clear conscience helps too. So does the confidence of knowing you've done your best each day.

We all want peace in our world, but first we must have peace in our hearts.