Finding your Values Being true to our passions makes life surprisingly easy and fulfilling, suggests Dr Peter Dingle.

"The most important thing in our lives is to seek morality in all our actions." Albert Einstein

There is no doubt that we have certain real needs, such as health, food, water and nutrition, security, and other people. Once we have met these basic needs we have a choice to focus on what we want and value. Unfortunately, we are so busy in our lives that we don't get time to identify our core values; we have lost touch with our deeply held values that matter so much to us. What is really important to us? We spend so much of our time responding to external demands that we lose touch with what matters most in our hearts.

Our values are what drive us and give us direction in everything we do, and thus enable us to make our actions consistent. Our values give us the ultimate direction and can become a compelling driving force. Values are what are important to us and enable us to define the most important things in our lives. They are the reasons we do what we do and enable us to become the person we want to be. Without defined values we risk becoming the person others, including the media, want us to be. Your values are the things in life that matter most to you. They make your life meaningful and fulfilled.

Discovering and following our values allows us the ease to make decisions, dissipates stress, and gives us our direction and motivation in life. Immense energy can come from one's connection with his or her deepest values. The opposite is also true. The biggest drain in our lives is investing energy in pressing matters that are not based on our values. Values save us time and energy. If we act consistently with our values, 99 per cent of our decisions are made for us and our mind does not need to work out whether or not to take an action.

Many people I know have achieved great financial success in their lives, but still crave for something more, something deeper and more fulfilling. When we violate our values we create a gap between what we want to be and what we are doing. This gap then generates pain that we feel. To avoid the pain we need to eliminate the gap. A simple example is that few people want to be overweight and, as a result, feel bad about their condition. They have some pain. Reducing weight will reduce the gap between what they are and what they want to be and as a result reduce the pain. The only way to do something about the pain is to do something about the gap.

Following our values, we don't have an internal debate every time we need to make a decision, and we don't have the sleep-interrupting debate each night about whether what we did was right or wrong, or if we could have done it better. As our mind can only focus on one thing at a time, being true to our values saves our mind from flitting back and forward between various options and possible actions.

Our values give us our major directions in life. Stress dissipates when we identify our values and follow our passion. When we are consistent with our values, we are healthy and well. It is when we are not consistent with our values that our health seems to turn against us.

Our values give us a strong sense of purpose, which buffers us from the storms of life. They are like the roots of a tree, keeping us steady and grounded even in stormy weather. But they are hidden beneath the ground so we don't see them, and sometimes we forget about them when everything appears to be happening on top.

When we have our values aligned we have a natural congruence with life. Some call it luck or coincidence or synchronicity. I call it serendipity. Things seem to fall into place, stresses disappear and things seem to work out.

Our values become a major motivating factor and sustain us. Not knowing what our values are is like driving to an unknown destination without a road map. Consistent with this, in the extensive research on goals, those that are self concordant - that is, the goals chosen for personal reasons - achieved the best outcomes. Research on centenarians is also now showing that positive values are consistent with living longer and enjoying life more. Centenarians are not saints, just people who have lived by their values.

There are many examples of personal values influencing the life and work of people - and, on the other side, examples of societal values influencing people. There are also examples of people aligning their values with their work. The best example is the people who go into the caring and nurturing professions, particularly nursing, teaching, social work, and so forth. These are all stressful jobs and these people often could be earning more money in business. So why do they do it? For most of them, the work aligns with their values. They are giving and caring. There is little doubt of the value of these careers, particularly if our family or we are in need of their caring. But it is not just here and now; for example, teachers have become the custodians of our culture and societal values. Our work and life should be consistent with our core values in order to bring us happiness.

Many politicians and business leaders have talked about values, but I don't believe many of them have actually thought about them. There is a lot of emphasis on values in business, although all too often these values are easily overlooked. At a leadership conference I attended some years ago, four of the six speakers were Australian. After five years, each of those Australians had been taken to court and was in jail or had a deferred sentence. That is not leadership.

A large multinational network marketing company sells products and, as part of its advertising campaign, often reminds people that the owners have more than enough money for themselves and so should be trusted by consumers. However, recently the owners have been found guilty on multiple accounts of tax evasion in the millions of dollars. This is not uncommon, as greed can corrupt. Unfortunately, fear and greed are the two most common negative driving values that are now preached either directly or indirectly, and they have become a mantra for many people.

To exacerbate this, the media presents a distorted view of what our real values are, based on what the advertisers want. Working closely with the media, I am frequently told what I can or cannot do, or some of my criticisms are edited out, for no other reason than they are not consistent with the "values" of a particular newspaper. In a recent land contamination issue, the local state paper stopped writing articles on the issue because the articles were considered honest but "anti-development".

The more governments and the media create a perception of fear and insecurity, the more we are willing to compromise our core value of true happiness. We become willing to put our core values on hold, for a day until the night comes, for a week until the weekend, a year for a few weeks' holiday, or even a lifetime for a few years at the end doing what we want to do. Fear and insecurity, whether real or perceived, take away our personal control. The more we fear something, the more power we give to it and the less power we have. Most phobias restrict people from doing things, as does a simple fear of going out for a walk at night. We often base our security on something external. Safety comes from inside. How do we create safety that cannot be lost? The research on ageing and Maslow's famous research highlight the drive for self actualisation and self realisation, that is, finding the creative and spiritual side of who we are. On average, as people age they become more spiritual, worldly, generous and interested in helping others while pursuing more creative endeavours.

Our values should revolve around simultaneously benefiting ourselves while benefiting others and the world. They should concentrate on things that sustain and nurture. This does not mean only helping individuals, but also the provision of materials and services. It may also mean assessing our work and asking whether it is really helping humankind. As a general rule, I would say, for example, the creation of weapons, tobacco and even junk food is not based on positive values. Each of these kills millions of people around the world every year.

We need to identify and define our values then find ways to reconnect with our values. Once we do this we need to revisit our values on a daily basis. Ask the question at the end of the end of each day, "Was my behaviour consistent with my values?" Become accountable to yourself for your actions. These are a couple of quick questions I ask myself when I have a decision to make:

* What would my best friend who really cares about me want me to do?
* Will this action be positive or negative for the people, plants, animals and the planet?

Then ask:

* For what do you want to be remembered?
* Who are the people you most deeply respect and why?

And from here you can develop your own values.