I like to say in counselling that the most appropriate analogy for life is a long journey by train. Think about it. We get on and the train leaves the station. We're off. It's exciting. We look forward to arriving, reaching our destination, but then it all starts to get a bit stale, mundane and dreary. I'm not saying life is like that but for long tracts of time, it can be. We chug along, getting bored and restless.

Sometimes, we stop altogether and that's even more tedious; we feel stuck. When we set off again, we can sometimes relax and enjoy the scenery. At other times, we go "off the rails", change tracks or even become completely derailed. Then there are the tunnels when we can see no light, when we have to trust the process and suffer the darkness. This is a particular construct I often offer my clients when they're going through difficult times. I suggest they imagine walking through a tunnel, the only light a tiny speck in the distance. The choices are to curl up in a ball and give up, or keep putting one foot in front of the other and walking towards the light.

After all these stops and starts on our train journey, we may very well arrive, but it's only a matter of time until we start on another segment of our journey. The only way to stop travelling is to die, so, in a sense, the trip never ends. It stops and starts like all of life. Nothing in life is permanent; it's transitory. Once we embrace that concept, it all becomes smooth sailing. Oops, I'm mixing my travelling metaphors so perhaps I've said enough on this point. In considering the idea of life being any type of journey, here are some of the important factors:

Making Decisions
Decisions are part of the everyday fabric of life. We make small and large ones constantly. The smaller ones, we don't think about or even notice, such as what icecream flavour we feel like. Twenty flavours are laid out in front of us and we choose the one that looks most appealing in the moment.

Larger decisions can be tortuously difficult, mainly because we're afraid of making a mistake. This is caused by lack of faith in self judgement. In the end, all we can do is act and trust the rest. It's almost better to make the wrong decision than to keep sitting on the fence because indecision is one of the most stressful things we can put ourselves through. Some of the travelling decisions are to do with how we choose to go - First Class? Riding on a donkey? Smooth terrain or rough road? Pressured and rushed or enjoying interesting experiences along the way? Let this be your guiding principle as you go through your life's journey - what do I really want to do; what will give me the most fulfilment?

Then act accordingly. T
hat fictional character, Aunty Mame, says, "Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death." Make sure your life is a rich smorgasbord full of a variety of tastes, people, choices and activities you love.

Notice the Signposts
There's no travel without direction and no direction without a guide. Whether you move through life being led by your internal compass or you prefer to use your intellect or outside influences, we can all benefit from the many invisible signs that surround us. They're only invisible because we neglect to see. In fact, there are "messages" to guide us at every turn. You are worrying about your tax return and you pass an accountant's sign; you want to select a study course and run into someone at a party who works at a university or college; you need help in baking a cake and your aunt sends you a recipe book. These events occur all the time and I recommend you start noticing them. Whether you do or not, they'll help you anyway but I believe that consciousness is an asset in all areas. Paulo Coelho speaks of "omens" in The Alchemist and the theme of the book is that we can reach our dreams if we follow these. I prefer to call them "signposts" which can be read and followed, allowing us to walk our path with a little more clarity.

CROSSROADS AND TURNING POINTS An exercise often used in self development courses is to chart your life as a story. One of the very first clients I ever counselled said she couldn't write very well and asked if she might draw her history. She ended up telling me her whole childhood in the form of a comic strip although it was anything but humorous.

The most revealing part of any person's story, whether written down, orally recorded or drawn, is the pattern of choices, all the points at which we are brought to a crossroads and can go one way or another. In Robert Frost's poem, "The Road Not Taken", he says that the road we choose when we come to a turning point in life "makes all the difference". Not an exact quote but it's true to the intent of his words.

Think back to all these points in your life and let your imagination stray down a different path. For example, what if you'd taken that job in Sydney instead of getting married in Perth? What would your life have looked like then? Would it have been better or are you grateful you took the choice you did? There'll probably be at least six of these major crossroads in any lifetime, and dozens of smaller ones. I believe we all are exactly where we're meant to be even when the going gets tough. Breathe in the landscape wherever you are.

Love as a Companion
Love is the most dangerous journey of all and yet it's as natural as breathing. Along our way, love is the most perfect travelling companion. It can come from many different sources and in many different forms. First and foremost, we carry love with us always in our personal luggage. Unfortunately, in those same suitcases, is a lot of other emotional baggage that is heavy and undesirable. It makes our travelling tougher and slow going. So, in order to travel lighter, we need to shed our negative beliefs and conditioning even as we might take off layers of clothing. Pure, spiritual love cannot operate under the load of all that weight. Once it's discarded though, infinite love is the treasure beneath. Then we can attract love from outside and enjoy the riches of our environment - the beauties of nature, the joy of positive relationships, work that is fulfilling, peace and harmony with all around us. It is natural to go in the direction of what we love. Thus can travelling be truly wonderful.

........

We take all kinds of journeys in a lifetime. Physical - trips, holidays, relocations from suburb to suburb, city to city or even country to country; Emotional - falling in love, the pain of loss, the adventures of parenting, successes and failures; Psychological - self discovery, remembering, forgetting, forgiveness, release, peace and acceptance; Mental - studying, experimenting, reading, writing, working, ideas, discussion, knowledge; Financial - spending, buying, debt, tax, mortgage, credit cards, materialism; Physical - birth, illnesses, exercise, weight loss, weight gain, ageing, death.
Yes, these are all individual trips we take within the main journey. For me, all of life is a journey.

When I watch a film, I totally immerse myself in the world that has been created therein; when I read a book, I embark on a journey of however many pages it contains, meeting characters and new friends along my way; when I fall in love, I journey out of the rational and into the vulnerable where guidebooks and maps are of little use; each day is an entire journey unique and contained; working with a client is a journey we take together (in fact, I often describe myself as a tour guide); every new friend is a narrative waiting to be unfolded. Anything that begins and moves towards a conclusion is a journey. Some will be enjoyable and some will be painful, but they're all good.

I used to believe that the most important thing in life was to leave behind a legacy, something valuable that you've achieved. In 2000, a beloved friend died at the age of 73 and she changed my mind on this. I decided that on my deathbed, I want to be able to say I enjoyed my journey. She certainly did. In her lifetime, she sang and played the piano, married three times, had three children, cooked for about a million people and loved a drink. The very week she died, I read a quote on the internet that said, "Make sure you don't die with your music still inside you". My friend didn't and I don't intend to either.

The secret is to be present in your own life, in your relationships, work and in all that you do. Travel with delight, press your nose up against the glass, see with the eyes of your inner child, follow your dreams, expect miracles, fly without a net, enjoy everything, trust. Plunge into your life. Then you will travel on the wings of all possibility.

more online articles available

or pick up this month's copy of
NOVA Magazine
<< Journeys >>